The
Power of Forgiveness
Sometimes in our lives, people will hurt us in a
variety of ways. They could bully us, gossip about us, spread slander and
libel, lie to us or blame us for something we didn’t do to get their own selves
out of trouble. They could betray us, push us, throw things at us, physically
or mentally abuse us etc. We may not always understand why they do these things
to hurt or try to harm us and sometimes we may experience a range of emotions
from their actions and words towards us, from anger to sadness. We may even
want to seek revenge or sink into a state of depression from the way others
mistreat us.
However, vengeance is not the answer to fix the problem. The better solution to the problem is forgiveness. Forgiveness is not always the easiest thing to do after someone has betrayed, harmed or wronged us but it certainly is the best thing to do, whether the person who harmed, betrayed or wronged you is remorseful or not.
By choosing the path of forgiveness, you can release
any feelings of sadness, hostility, negativity and anger towards the person who
hurt, betrayed or wronged you. You take away the power from them by letting go
of the negative emotions caused by them because of the way you were betrayed, harmed
or wronged. They no longer have any control over you or your emotions and you
can free your mind of any stress they were bringing you due to their
wrongdoing.
We should still forgive our enemies regardless of
whether we receive an apology from them or not. We will not always be given the
apology we deserve by those who wronged, betrayed or harmed us and even though
we deserve an apology, we should never expect it because it more than likely
won’t come because many times the person who wronged, betrayed or hurt us
either doesn’t realize what they did was wrong and hurtful or either doesn’t
care that it was. In my life, when I have been wronged, betrayed or hurt by
someone, I found the best way to finding a way to forgive them is to pray for
them and try to see the world through their eyes. Sometimes the person who
wronged, betrayed or hurt us may only be doing so because they were having a
bad day or they may be facing an insecurity or struggle in their life. They may
be dealing with a personal issue or going through a rough time and instead of
dealing with that in a positive or helpful way, they may have chosen to take
out their frustrations and insecurities on you.
When people wrong me, betray me or hurt me, I
personally pray that whatever difficult trials they are going through in life
or whatever insecurities and struggles that they are facing, that the Lord
would help them through it and that the Lord would open their eyes and help
them to see that the way they mistreat others or the way they take their
stresses, insecurities and frustrations out on others isn’t healthy for them
and that it isn’t fair to others, particularly the people they are hurting or
attempting to hurt, even if that is to try to make them themselves feel better
or for any other reason they have for trying to harm, betray or wrong someone.
By praying for those who have wronged me, betrayed me or hurt me, I feel more
at peace with whatever the situation or incident was that made me feel hurt,
betrayed or wronged. It gives me clarity at how to handle any future situations
with the person involved that either wronged, betrayed or harmed me, whether
they are a friend, family member, acquaintance or stranger.
While it is important to forgive others, remember
that if they continue the same behavior that lead them into wronging you,
betraying you or hurting you, sometimes in addition to forgiving them, we may
have to just ignore the things they say or do. That doesn’t make us weaker but
instead makes us stronger because we are showing that we refuse to be affected
by their negative actions, words and behavior. If it gets to the point where
you feel the situation is too out of control or where you feel unsafe in your
work environment, school, home or wherever else this situation is occurring,
tell someone you trust and can rely on, and if necessary, take precautionary or
even legal actions. I know you probably don’t want to deal with the stresses of
having to take such actions but if the situation between you and someone else is
that bad or dangerous that taking legal or precautionary actions is what is necessary
to keep you safer, do it. Sometimes you have to protect yourself and your life
from those who try to hurt or wrong you, even if it is someone close to you
such as a friend or family member.
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